People say things
by planet p
Summary: This is totally AU, of course. Jarod and Sydney have a meeting with the Tower, but first they have a SIM to get through. / Well, I had a question, but I figured it needed a story to go along with it. Yeah, they're kinda the rules. Probably v. bad!
1. Chapter 1

**People say things** by planet p

**Disclaimer** I don't own the Pretender or any of its characters.

* * *

**Yeah, this will be strange.**

* * *

"You've been outside?" Jarod asked the elder of the group, following an _Ask him, not me look_ from Kyle.

"I have, mate," Alex replied.

Jarod scoffed, "You're not my mate. We're not friends."

"Sure, little savage," Alex replied easily, dismissing Jarod's coldness already. Little Sydney, alright, 'ey?

Kyle shot Jarod a nasty look – if he thought he was stealing his nickname from him just like _that_, they had serious issues!

"I'm not a savage!" Jarod told him hotly.

"We're all savages in the eyes of our elders," Alex replied casually. "They let us get away with bad behaviour because they love us, no?" He laughed.

"I don't do bad things," Jarod shot.

Kyle rolled his eyes; sure, no. They all did! Just by being what they were, they'd done a bad thing: They were different! They weren't normal! That was _bad_!

"So, what is it like outside?"

"Like in here, I guess, with better air. Arguably, though, one would point out that the air is _not_ better in the middle of New York City or Tokyo!" Alex replied, typically as calm as before. He was probably reserving his freak out session for his handler, that guy from the Tower who's name Jarod didn't know. (He wondered if Alex did, even.)

Alex began to hum a song.

Jarod made a face at him, widening his eyes in an _Um, excuse me (and him)_ look.

"That is so old, and so fucking sad!" Kyle laughed at them both.

"So I'm old-fashioned," Alex replied, dropping the song. He sighed heavily. "Now, let's not be teaching Jarod bad language now."

"_Merde_!" Kyle dared. He bet Jarod knew tonnes of bad languages, in French or some other language Sydney spoke.

Alex smiled nicely which always put Jarod on guard. He worried, for a moment, that Alex would get up and clobber Kyle.

"I bet the outside sucks," Kyle said as though he _knew_ it did.

"Everything sucks, if you want it to," Alex told them both. "You've got to see the good in things, you've got to keep yourself from being down on the world and yourself, you and no-one else, because everybody else is busy, keeping themselves afloat. Or," he smiled and looked at Kyle, who rolled his eyes – strangely, Jarod felt left out here – "one hears that, on the outside, love is the cure for all ailments." He smiled at Jarod, now. "I'm sure, young savage, that you are perfectly lovable. As lovable as any of us, in any case. Not as opinionated as some," he remarked, shooting a short glance to Kyle.

"My strong opinions are one of my better points, I think," Kyle said. "I'm proud that I have an opinion."

"Yes you are, little savage," Alex agreed.

"Do you remember them?" Jarod interjected.

"Remember whom, champ?" Alex asked, returning his attention to Jarod.

"Your family."

"Ah," Alex waved a hand. "Why bother, really? Right here is where my family is, my people. We are all born the same: we're just people, savage, confused, curious little things, as we are. We are born with families, but we are all family; we are all related, a small part of a big family. I love my species, I do, the problem is, it seems, they hate each other. Complicated family, then." He laughed.

"Outside, hate lives the same as it does in here. Hate is a lot like love, when you can't stop thinking about it, about _them_, when you take the time out of your life, to consider theirs, to make connections between you and them, them and you – it's strong, it's passionate, it's upset, angered – and some people do _live_ for it, some people are that _ill_. We escaped that age-old indoctrination of small children: the world is beautiful and wonderful and everyone is one big, happy, smiling family! The world is beautiful, happy, wondrous – by goodness – but people, people let people down, people lie, people say things they don't mean, they never meant. You don't see the good things when you start to see the bad things and then they are all so… overwhelming, because, By goodness, they told you, when you were a kid, that the world was great, that For the betterment of mankind, for the betterment of all, but what they really meant was power, money, and a million other things that never, ever, for a second, involved trust or care or the truth. I am an optimist, let me just say, and, now, after all that, it seems, it's quite some tall order for love to fix all of that: but that's what they say. So that's what I want. I guess you've got to know low to know what's not, to know the things that make you smile, or laugh, or feel like a real person, that connect you, so suddenly, to all things, and isn't it just wondrous!"

He glanced at Jarod. "I think, I honestly think, that Sydney of yours, Jarod, that's what he needs!"

"I don't understand," Jarod replied. "What authority makes you the expert?"

"When were you taken?" Alex asked.

Jarod glared a _None of your freaking business, freak_ glare.

"I was four, when I came to the Center," Alex supplied.

"I guess I was, too," Jarod said begrudgingly.

Kyle laughed. _Tie!_

"I'm older," Alex added. "So, conceivably, more experienced. So, yeah, I _am_ the authority! Unless, I don't know, you feel like asking Sydney Precious!"

Jarod fixed him with a deadly look.

"Don't be getting all savage, now, Jarod. You sell yourself short," Alex told him. "Sydney's great – what's not to love, what's not to care for? Don't let the outside infect you – never be embarrassed or ashamed by those that bring out the good in you, the brightness and warmth, never let anyone tell you you shouldn't feel those things – they're the things that make us real, the things that make us more than just savages – they're the truth that lives underneath all of the lies, that lives alongside horror and sadness and pain. Protect them, hold onto them, don't you ever push them away. Don't be common – be extraordinary. And you know you can, you can just _feel_ it!" He turned a glance on Kyle. "Speaking of which, my savage minion, the same goes for you. The two of you are full of wholesome human potential."

"And you aren't?" Jarod asked with a certain amount of frostiness.

"I am insane, Jarod. My notion of these things isn't always level, it gets wobbly, it wavers, it's not trustworthy. One second, I can be smiling at you, the next I'll be trying to kill you, and you know why, Just cos! Criminally insane, I believe the term is, actually. Ah, those humans, those humans and their _words_, their _terms_! Don't you just love, love, love them! So cute, so _cuddly_ – you've got to love them, just can't help yourself, can you!"

Kyle laughed. "You are insane!"

"You said it, young savage." He got to his feet. "Look lively, savages, the 'mentors' return." He smiled. "Ah, and so you _do_ possess a memory," he said, to his handler, walking alongside Sydney and Raines, the three talking.

Sydney, who he sensed wasn't his biggest fan, didn't even bother to look at him. His handler slipped on his customary stern/annoyance/you're on a warning look.

"Good to know, savages! So, hit me! What's my name?"

"Why do you want him to hit you?" Jarod whispered, leaning forward in his seat, a look of slight concern marring his face.

"He's creepy kinky," Kyle joked.

Jarod stared at him.

"And you have no sense of humour," Kyle remarked.

Jarod's stare didn't alter. After a moment, he looked back to Alex, urgency returning to his face.

"Take a seat," Alex's handler ordered him.

Alex frowned, putting on an _Um, no, excuse me, I'm nice, so you get another chance_ smile. "That's not my name."

"Take a seat!" his handler growled.

Alex turned a glance at the line of seats. "Any particular seat?" he queried.

Jarod thought that his handler was going to lose it soon, but Alex just smiled and stepped toward one of the empty chairs, reaching for the back as though to pick the chair up.

"SIT DOWN!" his handler yelled.

Sydney winced.

Raines nodded to the chair; just sit, Alex.

"Sit where?" Alex asked. "At this chair, or-"

His handler turned on his heel and stormed away. He returned with two Sweepers.

"Afternoon, boys," Alex greeted. "My name's Alex. D'you boys have names, then? Course you do!"

"Sit down," one of the Sweepers told him in a no-nonsense tone.

Kyle suppressed a snicker.

Jarod got out of his seat and reached over for Alex's hand, tugging on it, trying to tell him to sit.

Alex sighed heavily, and turned a slow glance in Jarod's direction. "You wish to interject."

"Sit down," Jarod said quietly, feeling embarrassment reach up hot into his cheeks.

"Oh, so you're on their side."

"You'll get in trouble," Jarod whispered urgently.

Alex's expression hardened and he turned efficiently toward his handler. "Jarod's no good for this; have him sent out. There's no point in his sitting through a brief just to learn that it'd all been for nothing and a waste of time. He's not up for this: It's simple, he's just _not that_ good!"

"You do not order me-" Alex's handler began.

"I digress, allow me to make my recommendation…"

Kyle snickered, shooting Jarod an _Oh, well, I guess you're just not good enough_ look.

"In fact," Alex added, "I think things would go much more smoothly if I wasn't constantly falling over limiting influences." Here, he shot a glance to Kyle.

Kyle's expression became a scowl.

"I can handle this on my own; they can do their thing. There's no sense in collaboration here."

"Are you the Tower?" Alex's handler asked.

Alex rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "No, sir, I am not the Tower."

"Then you will appreciate that this decision isn't up to you!" his handler snapped.

"Yes, sir, I will appreciate just that," Alex replied, somewhat more subdued than before. "I can do this, sir – on my own. Jarod says he has an appointment with the Tower later in the day, it would unfortunate if we were to be of a hindrance to them."

Jarod's eyes widened. "I never said that!" he protested.

"Yes you did, you tattletale," Alex replied with narrowed eyes.

"I didn't!" He didn't know what a _tattletale_ was, but he knew that whatever it was, he wasn't one!

Alex's handler glanced at Sydney.

Sydney gave a short nod, turning a serious frown on Jarod. He knew that they didn't disclose their personal schedule!

"I suggest you make that meeting," Alex's handler told Sydney. "And see to it that your protégé is appropriately disciplined."

"I didn't say anything!" Jarod protested.

"Oh, he did!" Kyle stabbed him in the back, backing up his best mate and fellow psycho.

Jarod bit back any recriminations; it was already looking like it was going to be bad, and, what was worse, he wanted to cry.

Raines sighed shortly and, sparing him a short glance, left Sydney's side to confer with Alex's handler in private.

Sydney shot Jarod a sharp look that said, _You, now!_

Jarod navigated past the Sweepers, pretending not to see them, to join Sydney and the pair left the room. Jarod didn't say anything; he knew he was in trouble, and it was completely unfair!

It wasn't until they were both standing in Sydney's office that he forced himself to speak, "I swear to you, Sydney, I never told Alex about the meeting! I don't know how he found out-"

Sydney held a hand up; that was enough.

Jarod fell silent; Sydney's reaction hurt. Why didn't Sydney believe him?

He was sent to his 'room' with the silent promise that there would be no dinner, and, probably, nothing to drink, either.

On his own, finally, Sydney sank into his chair behind his desk. Damn Alex and his big mouth! He knew perfectly well that Jarod hadn't said anything. He had to meet with the Tower in a few hours, and he certainly didn't need this hanging over Jarod and he, but Alex had no regard for such things, he supposed, only for himself, only for furthering his own sick, twisted agenda. Whatever Alex's game was, he made a silent promise that from now on, he was _not_ going to stick up for him if the time came.

Jarod wasn't going to like this meeting with the Tower on an empty stomach, and he wasn't exactly going to be thrilled himself. But nothing could be done, could it? He had to be seen to be disciplining his misdeeds.

He closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair, and thought about Catherine. If only Catherine had succeeded in her plan, if only she'd rescued Jarod!

Some minutes later, he opened his eyes and set about working on some paperwork.

* * *

At 7:30, he took the elevator down from his office and walked to Jarod's room. Seeing the corridor empty, he felt an irrational bout of fear, only to find, when he drew nearer to Jarod's room, that the Sweeper who'd been asked to come out to take the two of them to their meeting with the Tower officials was sitting with Jarod, _in_ his room, talking about whatever, merry as you please.

They were discussing Japanese, he decided, staring at the sandwich Jarod was eating. That was definitely against his diet regime! Sydney felt anger well up inside him – he'd recognised the Sweeper as one of Raines's, whatever this was about, he didn't _like_ it!

And he didn't have to stand for it!

"What are you doing?" he asked sharply, and watched the two turn to look at him.

Jarod's smile froze and disappeared, but the Sweeper didn't even look phased.

"Good evening, doctor," he offered pleasantly.

"Jarod isn't supposed to eat tonight!" Sydney said coldly.

"Okay…" the Sweeper said, with a leaning toward a questioning edge to his voice.

"He's fasting for a blood test!" Sydney snapped some lie. He didn't need to tell the Sweeper anything, _technically_! He cursed himself for having said anything at all.

"I kind of owed him," the Sweeper told him conversationally. "He was helping me with something, you see."

Sydney threw the Sweeper a glare. "Didn't Raines tell you the rules!" he snapped.

"What, that, ah, we're not supposed to talk?" the Sweeper asked. "Sure, but… Oh, he wasn't kidding, I'm guessing." He laughed, rising to his feet. "Look, it won't happen again, I assure you, doctor."

"No, it won't!" Sydney shot back. "What is your name?"

"My name?" the Sweeper asked, glancing shortly at Jarod: Did he want Jarod to know that, now?

"I believe that's what I asked," Sydney scowled.

"Lyle," the Sweeper answered. "My name is Lyle."

Sydney strode over and grabbed Jarod's arm roughly, yanking him to his feet. "Show us to this meeting and fuck off!" he hissed to Lyle.

Lyle smiled but Sydney didn't smile back.

Save for a glare, Sydney had no words for Jarod.

On the way to their meeting, Lyle began to hum something. Sydney shot him a dark look, which he didn't seem to notice all at once.

It was the song Alex had been humming, Jarod noticed. "What is the name of that song?" he asked.

Lyle glanced back at him, catching Sydney's angered look, and said, "_Dark Eyes._ But I'm sure it has had many names over the years. It's quite old, if memory serves correctly."

He didn't say anything else until they reached the room they'd be taking their meeting in. "This is our stop," he said, to Sydney and Jarod.

He didn't follow them into the room.

"You don't talk to him, if he is assigned to you again, do you hear?" Sydney snapped in a whisper, fixing Jarod with a look that was bitterly cold.

"Why?" Jarod asked, his voice carefully lowered.

"He's one of Raines's underlings, that's why!"

"He seems okay," Jarod volunteered.

Sydney tried and failed to suppress a bitter laugh. "Oh, and that's not entirely intentional!"

Jarod frowned at his mentor's sarcastic tone, feeling suddenly… hurt. He made a note of Sydney's words. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

They reached the table they were to be seated at, and took their seats.

* * *

**Okay, so this is something that gives me some hesitation: If they were all so (horrible, distant, clinical) cold with Jarod, how is it that he's actually all there in the upstairs and not completely WRONG about people? Yes, I know, I think about strange things: It's just something that struck me. And, I mean, I know Sydney wasn't Horrible, horrible, horrible! to him, but according to so many fanfics that I read, conceivably just about everyone else at the Center (save that janitor who eventually wound up dead; little Miss Parker, and Angey) was/is… I don't get how he's okay as a person, I guess, after that, that's all. I mean, even Kyle, after everything he's supposed to have been through, you'd think they just wouldn't function. I always think that they'd have to foster more of a 'you're a part of our family' (and not your OLD family anymore) thing. I guess not, though.**

**So, if anyone knows what's with that, it'd be cool if you could tell me how they're all supposed to have gotten through being so absolutely rotten to each other, then lived with being taken out of it only to be put back INTO it! Like, no, I don't imagine it would be like, Oh, I so remember it being like this, no worries, 'ey! More like: Not again! Not ever again!**

**Yeah, okay, so that's enough of that.**

**Moving on. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

Jarod hadn't slept well – the Tower meeting had gone on for three hours, three _whole_ hours – when they'd finally come out of the meeting, Lyle had gotten him a drink from one of the vending machines for drinks; a cold water. Sydney hadn't been pleased, but Lyle had explained that, Okay, maybe he wasn't supposed to have food, but water wasn't food, and dehydration wasn't good for people; all sorts of bad things happened then.

Begrudgingly, Sydney allowed it, but said nothing.

Quietly, Lyle told Jarod that his girlfriend was a nurse. Well, roommate, and she was _studying_ to be a nurse, but he was hopeful. Apparently, he was at university, every other day; or just during the study periods.

Jarod didn't get to ask what he was studying, Sydney wouldn't have allowed it; the water had been his one and only concession! (He hadn't heard the girlfriend comment, he'd been on the phone to – wonder who – Raines.)

At the door to his room, he said quietly to Sydney, "Apparently, according to the 'expert', Alex is criminally insane." He received no reply.

Jarod lay down, pondering over where Alex even got the stuff he came out with. Was it even tuned in with reality? Why was he constantly on about the savage/human prattle he was on about? Was that normal 'criminally insane' behaviour? Why had Kyle sided with Alex over him? They'd had their indifferences, but he was closer to Kyle's age and he'd honestly expected him to side with him. Alex was, after all, insane!

He hadn't slept well, then he'd woken up, and he hardly felt any better.

He was allowed breakfast, but he really just wanted to talk to Sydney. Raines came in to ask him how he'd fared with the Sweeper, then gave him a funny look when he told him that he'd done his job as though he'd expected him to have been doing something else that was obviously not doing his job. Or maybe he hadn't expected his honesty, Jarod never knew with Raines. He was never pleased, it seemed, if he wasn't yelling at someone, and they weren't yelling back at him. Sydney and he were only ever yelling at one another, after all, but Raines was always there right behind Sydney when he needed the endorsement: Yeah, Sydney's with us. A chip off the old block, just like his brother, Jacob.

For a long moment, Jarod wondered after the phrase 'a chip off the old block', and what it meant. Raines was always using odd phrases, it seemed; Sydney tried not to do that. Maybe it was against the rules – but rules had never meant much to Raines, as far as all reports went.

After breakfast, Jarod had a SIM, then Sydney left him in Commons to make a meeting. Angelo spent a good twenty minutes staring at him. He never said anything, he just stared. What was new? Angelo often did that.

Jarod told him about Alex's mental condition, silently, imagining that Angelo could hear his thoughts. Apparently, that didn't work because Angelo finally stood up and walked away, interested in something else, it seemed, at long last.

Jarod looked around Commons, then rose himself and walked to the pigeon holes. As a youngster, he'd never been allowed down in the Commons; he'd never had any use for his pigeon hole. He was half glad, he imagined Alex leaving him offensive or baffling messages, or putting sharp things in his pigeon hole so he cut his fingers on them when he absentmindedly put his hand inside to see if he'd received any correspondence.

He let his eyes move over the names listed there, reading them off silently one by one, connecting names to faces, or conversations he'd had or those that he'd overheard: Alex, Alicia, Jarod, Kyle, Melody, Angelo. They'd been arranged in alphabetical order, but Angelo had kept the same pigeon hole when his name had been changed from Timmy, so his pigeon hole was the last instead of the third.

Alicia had been taken from them, Jarod knew. He'd even heard talk of T-Corp, their rival in the Possessors stakes. It had to have been one of their antics, some said. He knew Angelo, Alex and Kyle, but he'd never known Melody. He wondered if she'd died, or if she'd been 'taken' before his time with the Center.

Kendra had been Alicia's mentor. He'd heard that was her name. Jacob had let her down, he'd heard that, too. He didn't know what that meant, but he'd heard that she'd been transferred, sent away, but nobody really knew if she had or if something else had occurred. Maybe, Jarod thought, she'd been so hurt that she'd suicided; maybe she'd been in love with Jacob. The thought didn't occur to him that the company could have taken care of her, just as they'd taken care of Jacob years earlier. (He'd heard that had been an accident.)

Obviously, Raines was Kyle's mentor, and Sydney was his. He was glad, everyday, that Sydney was. He'd liked to have been able to say so, but he knew it wasn't really allowed. Sydney was always so reserved.

For a moment, he thought, maybe Alex was right. Maybe Sydney did need to fall in love, maybe then he'd know what it was like to really live, to really take a chance.

He pushed the thought away. He couldn't imagine Sydney ever falling in love. It wasn't that he thought Sydney incapable, it was almost the opposite, he just didn't know if there would ever be the right woman for Sydney, the right woman who'd understand him. He was a very complicated person, on the outside. He didn't want Sydney getting hurt. As much as he knew that was how people learned, how people moved through life, life was a series of upsets, and our reactions to them – a series of happy moments, and the consequences they brought with them – he just never wanted Sydney to be hurt, even if that meant he had to live a sheltered life, even if that meant never falling in love.

He quashed the thought, and the accompanying feeling. He didn't even particularly like the feeling. Of course, he wanted Sydney to fall in love! Of course, he did!

For a moment, or a flicker of a moment, it occurred to him that he loved Sydney, and that if Sydney fell in love, then suddenly he wouldn't be the most important thing to Sydney. His job would just be his job, and his life after work, well, it would be marvelous, wondrous, just as long as he was still in love.

He turned away from the pigeon holes and walked back to the couches. He wasn't going to spend any more time thinking about Alex, or Alex's annoying notions, he decided. It wasn't as though he was every going to have the chance to fall in love, so why was he even torturing himself thinking about it?

He put a hand to his lips.

Still, it hurt to think that he would never know that kind of love. He supposed that was why he never could resist hearing things about love, it didn't matter what it was, he could never not listen.

But what was that, anyway? Love? It wasn't the same thing as desire, or lust. It wasn't just a physical connection, but it was all about the physical connection, too. Some people believed that the physical connection was _all_ that it was. He didn't know; he knew that he should remain open, but the frustration of having no solid, no _grounded_ idea, killed him.

He thought about something Raines had said once about 'residual Convergence'. He hadn't even been allowed that; Convergence. The Center didn't believe in cosmic connections, but T-Corp (and Raines) did. Jarod supposed he liked the idea of it; wouldn't it be just _neat_ if they found his Convergence partner and could start their own proper, little Breeding Program! Neat with a big, smacking 'O' tacked on the end: N-n-neat-O! Except they didn't do that; they didn't run a Program. That was reserved for the metaphorical savages, T-Corp. That was okay for T-Corp, the creepy little _creeps_!

Jarod sighed. For a moment, he thought that he really wouldn't have minded so much, except that he would have. _In every way possible!_

When he looked around, he spotted someone he knew. The Sweeper from the day before; Lyle. He sat up straighter, and, when Lyle came over and stopped beside the couch, he asked in a quiet voice: "What is your… roommate's name?"

"Amy. French, or something, originally. The name, not… Amy, I don't know. I don't know her heritage. She's… not bad to look at. I don't know why she wants to be a nurse, it's not a kind job; people are always dying, just the same as other people go on with their lives. But… when you're responsible for them, suddenly, it hurts when they die. Even if you did everything you could, even if you _know_ that you did, it still hurts, you just… they're people, we're people."

Jarod hadn't asked him about Amy's chosen profession, but he'd just gone on.

Lyle frowned. "I guess," he added.

Jarod supposed he wasn't studying what Amy was studying, he wasn't going to be a nurse.

Lyle turned to look at the door.

"Will you be here long?" Jarod asked.

"No." He looked agitated, Jarod thought. "No, I have to go back to university."

"Are you happy with what you're studying? Is it how you thought it would be?" Jarod asked. He didn't know what else to say.

"A lot of things aren't how we think they're going to be," Lyle responded, frowning, finally.

Jarod allowed his gaze to travel to the door, but there was nothing there to look at, and, certainly, nothing to frown at. He returned his gaze to Lyle. "Where are you from?" Jarod asked.

"Earth," Lyle told him, completely serious.

Jarod didn't smile, but the thought occurred to him. It wasn't a joke, Lyle hadn't even been thinking about what he'd asked; he was somewhere else, entirely.

When he put a hand on his face, Jarod noticed that his hand was shaking. Lyle glanced at the couch, then took a seat beside Jarod. "It's alright," he said, "I'm not… Well, it's not catching."

"Are you sick?" Jarod asked, frowning.

"Side-effects of the medication," was Lyle's absent reply.

Jarod didn't ask what the medication was that he was on, it didn't seem the sort of question people asked one another first off; if they'd been friends, perhaps it would have been feasible. They weren't friends. It occurred to him, Sydney had said Lyle was one of Raines's underlings, perhaps there wasn't even anything wrong with him, perhaps it was a part of the game.

"How are you?" Lyle asked abruptly. "How do you feel?"

"I'm alright," Jarod replied, echoing his earlier remark.

"They… Do you ever just… worry?" Lyle asked.

"Sure," Jarod answered. He worried a lot, but it wasn't something he was going to admit to one of Raines's minions.

"About Sydney, or K-Kyle, Angelo people like that?"

"I guess," Jarod replied. "People like that."

Lyle nodded, more to himself than Jarod, now. "Yep. That's okay. People you know."

"Are you worried about Amy?" Jarod asked, trying for a different tack.

Lyle stared at him. For a moment, it occurred to Jarod that he had no idea what he'd just asked, then he said, "Yes. Yeah. Yes. Amy. She's… a girl, and it's the city. It's a big city. It's worrying. Anything… could happen. She could meet anyone. You just never, never know."

Jarod really frowned at him. He had a feeling he wasn't alright, though he'd said he was. He wondered if he should walk over to the wall and use the telephone to ring Raines's office; he'd seen Sydney dial the number enough to know the number.

"Perhaps, if you rang her, if you heard her voice, you'd know she was okay and you wouldn't have to worry as much," he suggested.

"I guess," Lyle replied, "but she'll be out. She has… some girls' club." He didn't look at his watch, though, as Jarod expected, to confirm the time; instead, he looked back to the door. "Sydney's on his way."

Jarod's frown deepened.

"I… I'm not thinking straight." Lyle shook his head. "Fifteen, so that's… in a couple of minutes."

"Do you know who Melody is?" Jarod found himself asking, before he could really think it over.

The look Lyle fixed him with was as though he'd just told him someone had died. "Sh-sh-"

But he didn't finish what he'd been about to say because, at that moment, Sydney appeared in the doorway, and Lyle looked at the door, and there was something – or rather, someone – to frown over.

Sydney didn't look pleased to see him.

"I have to go," Lyle told him, still watching Sydney, with wide eyes, and stood.

"Where will you go?" Jarod asked.

"Home."

Jarod frowned.

Lyle walked away, ignoring Sydney on his way past him.

Sydney stormed over to Jarod. "What was that?" he asked.

"He said he's on some sort of medication," Jarod told him. "I don't think that's working out. He's worried about his roommate. Perhaps he isn't on any medication, perhaps it's drugs." He stopped talking.

Sydney said nothing. He crossed his arms; he uncrossed his arms. Lyle wasn't the only one stressing.

Angelo approached them, then sat down beside Jarod. He looked up at Sydney.

Sydney frowned at him, disconcerted, suddenly.

Angelo blinked; what?

Jarod patted Angelo's knee; it was okay.

Sydney stared at him.

Angelo met Jarod's gaze: What was up with Sydney?

Jarod shrugged, and stood up. He tried to look sympathetic, for Angelo – he had to leave – and headed for the door. Sydney hastily followed.

He stopped at a coffee machine for a coffee. Jarod frowned, noting that the prices had taken a price hike – wonderful – and waiting for the machine to finish up making the coffee.

"It's hot," he said quietly, in case Sydney wasn't thinking about it, when Sydney took his coffee.

They left the coffee machine; Jarod wondered what coffee tasted like. He thought about Alex's song, wondering where Alex had learned it, and when, and how Lyle had known it, too. Why wouldn't he worry about Raines, he wondered, or Alex, or even Alex's handler? Why wouldn't he worry about Mr. Parker, or… Miss Parker.

He looked around him. He supposed Lyle had just been thinking of people he regularly had contact with: Sydney, Angelo.

_What about Kyle?_ he thought.

He did some SIMs with Kyle, sometimes; more than he'd done with Alex, he supposed.

He frowned, hiding it inside. Sydney had been right about Lyle; how he knew so much about him, he must have been briefed by Raines. Clearly, he couldn't be trusted.

He took a moment to feel bad that he'd trusted Lyle, that he'd put aside Sydney's words. Sydney cared about him; Lyle couldn't care less.

_Kyle's a little shit_, he thought. _Why would I care about Kyle any more than I would about Alex?_

_Stop thinking about it; he's trying to mess with your head, it's what Raines told him to do. Raines thought you'd trust him because…_

_Because he asked you for a favour, because he was your 'friend' for a couple of minutes, because he's not Raines._

He should feel bad, he told himself, for allowing himself to be fooled so easily. He'd been a fool; Sydney had raised him to be better, trained him to be _better_.

They stopped at Sydney's office; Sydney opened the door, and they walked inside.

"I'm sorry, Sydney," Jarod said, when the door had been closed. "I should have listened to you; I shouldn't have trusted Lyle. It's just another of Raines's games."

Sydney put his coffee down and went for his phone. It was ringing, Jarod noticed. "A couple of minutes ago, Commons," Sydney replied. "What's wrong?"

Jarod picked up on Sydney's change of tone: Oh, what's wrong? Something didn't go your way? Oh, too bad.

It must have been Raines, asking after Lyle, he supposed.

Sydney smiled in a way that said he'd been hung up on, and put the phone down. He picked his coffee up.

Jarod tried a vaguely enquiring tone.

"Nothing for us to worry about, Jarod," Sydney reported, sipping his coffee. It wasn't too hot, anymore.

Roughly ten minutes later, Jarod and Sydney got down to a SIM. Jarod put aside the situation for a while, he put aside his own life and took up another life.

* * *

"Do you know anyone who is criminally insane?" Jarod asked, when he met Lyle in the bathroom. If it was strange, meeting him in the bathroom, Jarod didn't think so; he was thinking about what he'd just asked Lyle.

Lyle didn't reply; he was throwing up, Jarod supposed, and remembered to ask, "Are you okay?"

"You shouldn't take Alex for serious when he says such things," Lyle told him. He was feeling better, it seemed. Well enough to talk, in any case. Jarod actually though he looked pale. "It's as much to convince himself as it is to convince you."

"Did he tell you he was criminally insane, as well?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I can't remember."

Jarod said nothing. He supposed that was fair; not everyone had perfect memories. "Have you noticed that your hands are shaking?" he asked, for something to say.

"They do," Lyle just said.

Jarod found that comment odd. Was it that he was taking drugs but hadn't taken enough, or needed to take some more, or was the medication to stop his hands from shaking? "It happens often?"

Lyle stared at himself in the mirror. He looked annoyed, for some reason. He shook his head and directed his gaze in Jarod's direction, away from the mirror.

"Why were you sick?" Jarod asked. "Are you sure it isn't contagious?"

"The medication can do that, I guess," Lyle said. "I can't… make out that tiny writing."

"Perhaps you need to have your eyes tested," Jarod suggested.

Lyle frowned, then looked behind him. "Why?" he asked, when he looked back to Jarod.

Jarod fought hard not to widen his eyes in an expression of astonishment. Wow, this guy was sure odd, he thought. "If you can't read the small writing that comes with your medication," he said.

"What writing?"

"With your medication," Jarod reminded him.

"I need to be outside."

"Yeah, me too," Jarod remarked quietly. Not that he knew what being outside had to do with reading fine print. It could have been that he preferred the natural light to artificial lighting, he supposed. Maybe natural light was better for reading. If it was a sunny day, it would be brighter outside, he supposed. It was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

Lyle walked to the door; Jarod realised he'd really only wanted to check out the graffiti on the toilet doors, a quick assessment told him there was nothing new; it had all been cleaned off by the cleaners.

He left the bathroom.

He looked at Lyle, who'd suddenly turned to look at him.

"I don't- I don't remember which way it is, Jar," Lyle said.

Jarod stared at him. Odd didn't sum it up, not after that, he decided. He shook off his thoughts and stared at the floor. Oh, he'd fainted… or something.

Sydney walked up to him; he looked very angry. Jarod pointed to Lyle on the floor. Sydney grabbed his arm and tugged him away, pulling him after him. Jarod just stared at him.

At the corner, they met Raines.

"I think he fainted," Jarod said.

At this news, Raines shook his head in apparent disappointment and confusion. "What are you doing, Bobby?" he asked Bobby, who wasn't really there, and hurried off to see if he could wake Lyle.

Jarod stared at Sydney. "Who do you think Bobby is?" he asked.

"Who cares?" Sydney snapped.

_Raines_, he thought, but didn't say. Miss Parker had used to call him 'Jar'.

* * *

Alex was laughing; Kyle staring at him as though, _this time_, he'd really lost it. Jarod had no comment, nothing to say. It made him uncomfortable just seeing it, just sitting there.

Kyle stood up, walked over the Alex, and slapped him.

Alex stopped laughing.

Kyle walked back to his chair and sat down.

Jarod had the feeling that Kyle was quite possibly the only person to have slapped Alex and come away unscathed… so far.

Jarod wasn't even sure what they were doing, what they were waiting for. Nobody had told him. "What's happening?" he asked Kyle.

Alex stood up quickly, then sat back down. He put a hand to his head, making Jarod think he'd stood up to quickly and had made himself dizzy. "It's the same thing, time immemorial," he said, though Jarod hadn't asked _him_. "Don't, don't liquidate us. We're worth it, I swear. We'll make you see, we'll do our very best – we'll be better, better, better."

"What happens to us, then?" Kyle asked, and Jarod actually turned to look at him because he'd asked the _right_ question, it seemed, a little surprisingly. (Not that he believed Kyle to be stupid, Kyle wasn't stupid, it was just… he hadn't even thought of that yet. But it was what he _should_ have asked.)

"Then, it's anyone's guess," Alex replied, trying for a second go at standing. It seemed to work out okay. "They'd never have tried this if Cathy Parker was around. They always loved Cathy. She was a real crowd pleaser. What do you think it was about her?"

Kyle laughed. "Meanwhile, back on the blue planet…"

"We're doing okay," Jarod interjected. "We're doing good work."

Alex stared at him madly. He started to laugh.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Kyle shouted. "IF YOU START THAT AGAIN, I SWEAR-"

Alex stopped laughing to ask, "Swear what?" in a vaguely threatening manner.

"Go knock yourself out, Al," Kyle snapped, "we know how good you are at that!"

Alex smiled, one of his scary person smiles. Like maybe now was the time he would flip.

Jarod tried to be very still, look like less of a target.

"You think that's funny, savage!" Alex quipped in an amused, antagonistic tone.

The door to the chairman's office opened and Raines stepped out. "It may or may not have crossed your minds, but someone is on the phone here," he told them.

"Not at all," Kyle snapped. "Certainly, it never occurred to Alex. Why would it, he's not that _thinking_!"

Alex laughed, earning an unappreciative glance from Raines.

"Alright, cut it out," he told them.

"Nothin' doin'," Kyle replied. "Nothin' to cut out, way I see it."

Raines rolled his eyes, then looked at Jarod. "Don't you get involved in this, too," he said.

Jarod said nothing. What did Raines think he was, an idiot, completely balmy?

Raines stepped back into Mr. Parker's office and closed the door after him.

"Apparently, that's our summons, little savage," Alex replied, and took his seat, still smiling.

Kyle sat down, glaring at him.

From Mr. Parker's office, Jarod heard Mr. Parker start yelling at someone. He didn't know if he was still on the telephone. He hoped it wasn't Sydney who was being yelled at; if it was Raines, well, he didn't care, then.

Of course, if Raines was pissed off about being yelled out over something, it would invariably mean that he would be pissed off at them all – people he was _allowed_ to be pissed off at, people who were _below_ him – so, really, he should have cared.

Alex began talking to himself in Russian, which, Jarod conceded, he didn't know. He knew the sound of it, he just didn't know what Alex wasn't on about, which probably wasn't a bad thing. He supposed it could have been savages, and noise disturbance.

Angelo, who'd fallen asleep in his chair, woke up, and stared at Alex.

Alex stopped talking.

Angelo looked at the door. Oh, he'd missed something, hadn't he?

Kyle stood up and walked over to Angelo, taking a seat beside him.

Angelo frowned.

"I don't know you, either," Kyle commented.

Angelo glanced at Jarod.

Jarod shook his head. He had no idea why they needed to be sitting here, hearing all this, in the first place. He'd thought that they'd want to keep it hush, hush, not announce it to everyone; certainly, not to their second- (or third-) class citizens.

"Have you ever heard of someone called Bobby?" Jarod asked, deciding it was as good a question as any.

Angelo's glance turned into a stare.

"That kid from Hicksville, Hickscounty, Hicksstate," Kyle replied, annoyed. "You've heard of the little freak, too. Raines's little pet. The stupid one. His parents were worried he wasn't going to make it through school, so they organised something with the school so they could get him through."

Jarod frowned, trying to remember something like that. The boy who was good at math, he remembered, then. "Nebraska," he corrected Kyle.

"Ha!" Kyle dismissed.

Angelo smacked him in the arm.

Kyle smacked him back.

Alex got up and walked over, taking Kyle's arm to stop him from hitting Angelo again.

Kyle growled, turning to glare at him viciously. "He hit me!"

"And you hit him back. You're even. It's over."

"He fucking _hit_ me!"

"It's over," Alex repeated.

"You think I fucking care what you think?" Kyle spat. "You fucking killed Allie! You're a fucking _psycho_! You should be _put down_!"

Alex's expression was tired. He'd heard all this before; it was _so_ old.

Jarod hadn't heard this before.

"Dearie me, well, if I'd known you were so in love with her, jeez, shucks, I'm real sorry," Alex said.

Kyle leapt to his feet, pulling his hand from Alex's grip.

"Kyle!" Raines growled from the door to Mr. Parker's office.

Kyle didn't look at him.

"Don't make me come over there," Raines cautioned.

Kyle sat back down, with visible effort.

Angelo put his head on Kyle's shoulder; it was okay.

Kyle shoved him away from him. "Fuck off, creep!"

Angelo put his head back on his shoulder.

"Creep!" Kyle muttered, ignoring him now.

Raines shut the office door, disappearing inside once more.

Alex went back to his seat.

Jarod wondered if Angelo was alright; he certainly wouldn't have stuck around Kyle after his behaviour earlier. If Alex hadn't intervened, he was sure Kyle would have kept hitting him.

Kyle glared at Alex. "You're a fucking freak!" he hissed.

"And I must applaud your charming vocabulary," Alex replied casually.

"Fuck you!" Kyle looked at Jarod. "You know why he did it, don't you? Why he killed her? He hates women, that's why! It's his mommy's fault he's stuck in this fucking hellhole, and he justifies mommy's actions against him as a reason to hate all women!"

"Go back to school," Alex said.

"I bet he's into you, Jarod, you'd best watch he doesn't try anything," Kyle hissed.

Irrationally, Jarod found himself staring at Alex.

Alex smiled at him. "Hiya, cute stuff!"

Jarod laughed.

"Have a sense of humour, Kyle," Alex told Kyle, moving his gaze from Jarod. "If Jarod can, you can, too."

Kyle snorted.

Angelo took his head of Kyle's shoulder.

"That's was a fantastical waste of an afternoon," Raines remarked to Sydney, on the way out of Mr. Parker's office.

Sydney laughed; he could say that again. How many more times were they going to have to go through before they say the end of it, before a resolution was brought forth? He glanced at Jarod.

Jarod shot to his feet.

Angelo wandered over to Raines and smacked him in the arm.

Jarod stared at him.

Raines's attention went to Kyle. "Kyle, you do not hit Angelo!"

"He hit _me_ _first_!" Kyle growled.

"Oh, he hit you first!"

Kyle jumped to his feet. "Didn't I fucking say that! So he's allowed to hit me and I'm just supposed to take that! I'm just supposed to say, 'Sure, creep, hit me again if it's your thing!' Because… _he_ can't stop himself! He's fucking mentally _incapacitated_!" He lurched forward sharply. "I'll fucking _incapacitate_ the little fuck!"

Sydney grabbed Jarod's arm, warning him not to move.

Alex laughed. "Kyle's seriously worried I'm attracted to him the way some men are attracted to other men."

Sydney's grip loosened on Jarod's arm. Jarod took his eyes off Alex to glance at his mentor. He'd heard what people had said about Jacob, he'd read what they sometimes still wrote. He had the impression Sydney didn't like people talking about his brother like that.

Sydney was glaring at Alex now with a look that clearly said he hoped Kyle hit him again, though, Jarod didn't really think Raines was going to allow that. Alex's handler would have a fit. Raines had stepped in to stop Kyle from losing it completely. Not soon enough, though, it seemed.

Actually, he considered, Alex's handler had enough now to throw an absolute number. Alex would have a nice bruise later on to show for his efforts.

Kyle was smiling like he'd won, but, for once, Alex wasn't smiling.

He got to his feet, unsteady for a moment, and stormed out.

Angelo looked around at the door of Mr. Parker's office.

Sydney shot Jarod a sharp look, and they left.

* * *

When Jarod returned to Commons, he found Alex sitting on one of the couches. Sydney had had a phone call in his office, another important one, and he'd asked a Sweeper to come up and take Jarod down to Commons. The Sweeper had done so, and was now waiting outside the door.

Jarod wondered if he knew who Alex was, or perhaps they just didn't care.

He made a vague beeline in Alex's direction, keeping his footsteps slow.

Alex stood up and walked to the phone, punching in a number and leaning against the wall to wait for the call to come through. "Can you put me through to Barbara? Do you know when she'll be- Alex. From Blue Cove. Delaware. Blue Cove. Yes. That's right. Alex, no last name. Yes, I am." He shook his head. "Would I be calling if I didn't have authorisation? 85336-91456-67009. I- Look, you're the first one who's had a problem with this, I- Why would I do that, madam? Why would I- Can- Can you just mention to her that I phoned? Can you do that for-" He replaced the phone.

"What can you do?" he said to Jarod.

Startled, Jarod tried to think of something to say. "Do you think he made it through?" he asked, thinking of Bobby.

"I certainly hope so. What about you? Do you want to call anyone?"

Jarod stared at him. Had it been the knock to his head?

"Miss Parker. She's at…" He sighed heavily.

Jarod hurried forward. "Could you do that?" he asked, suddenly very afraid of the eager tone of his voice. If he looked himself in the mirror now, he wondered, would he spot a betraying spark in his eyes?

Alex frowned. "I…" He took a breath, and picked up the telephone. He nodded, and dialled a number. "Give me a moment."

Jarod waited, anxiously watching Alex and the telephone. He didn't know why Alex was helping him with this, and he didn't know why he was letting him. Was it a trap? he wondered. Was it just another ploy to get him in trouble?

"Jarod. An old friend. Thank you very much, Laura-Ann." He smiled. "Lori. Alright, then, Lori. Of course, I will."

He glanced at Jarod, placing a hand over the receiver. "She's busy. They're trying to get a hold of her. With any luck…"

They waited for a few minutes, Jarod's sense of dread and anxiety rising with each second that passed. What if Sydney's very important call ended suddenly? What if he came down?

"Once again, you've been a tremendous help, Lori," Alex said, and passed the phone to Jarod. "It should be her," he said quietly.

Jarod took the phone from him with shaking hands. "Miss Parker?"

"_Do I know someone called Jarod?_" came a young woman's voice, confused but taking it with a bit of humour, it seemed.

Jarod's mind struggled to process everything about her voice and, at the same time, to remember what she had sounded like when they had last met. His head hurt; he was too hot.

Alex put a hand on his head.

Jarod supposed the headache had caught up with him, finally. "I'm not sure," he said, to the young woman on the other end of the line. "Do you?"

Miss Parker laughed. _"You have phone privileges now, Jarod?"_ she remarked. _"What did you do? Discover the cure for failing exams, or something?"_

Jarod smiled; she sounded happy. "Have you met someone?" he asked.

_"Fuck, Jar, what the fuck kind of a question is that?"_ she quipped.

Her sudden turnabout confused him.

_"Have _you_ met someone?"_ she snapped. _"Did Daddy put you up to this?"_

"No."

"_Oh, sure! Sure, Jarod! Why don't I believe you?_"

"I'm telling you the honest truth. Your father didn't-"

_"'The honest truth'!"_ she scoffed. _"Isn't the truth supposed to be innately honest? Why does it have to be the 'honest' truth?"_ She laughed. It was clear by her tone that she believed him a liar.

Alex took the phone off Jarod. Jarod just stared. "You're in danger," Alex said plainly. "You need to leave. Don't say anything to anyone, just leave."

_"Sure, _I'm_ in danger, you lunatic! If you so much as breathe on Jarod-!"_ Her tone changed, she might have been talking to someone on her end. "_No, it's not Daddy. Just some total creep! No, nothing to worry about. I've got it sorted, hon. Actually, _Jarod_ rang me, then this fucking weirdo interrupts! I don't know why and, frankly, I don't _want_ to! He's mad!"_

Alex shook his head and passed the phone back to Jarod.

"Is she in danger?" Jarod hissed in a whisper.

"No," Alex said. "She'll be fine."

"Then why did you say that she was?"

"Well, I actually thought it sounded pretty amusing. Apparently, I'm the only one." He nodded to the phone. "Talk."

"How are you?" Jarod asked.

_"Dandy!"_ Miss Parker snapped. She sighed. _"Shit, no, but what about you? How are you? Tell me about you? How'd you get this number? I hope Alex doesn't think you owe him anything for organising this!"_

"Kyle punched him. I'm alive, I guess."

_"Kyle? Right, I think I'm remembering the right one. What did he do to make Kyle punch him?"_

"Let's talk about you. How's school? What are you studying? Mr. Parker says you're going to be a lawyer."

_"I am."_

"Because you want to, or because he does?"

She laughed. _"Everything is so _simple_ with you, so _easy_! Real life isn't like that, Jarod. Of course, because I want to – I want to make money, Jarod, I want to live comfortably! I want a normal life, God!"_

_I want you to have a normal life, too_, he thought, but he couldn't escape the feeling that this young woman wasn't the girl of his childhood, wasn't the long ago friend that he loved, still; that he missed, still. Something had gone awry in their connection, and he was left scrabbling for wires and plugs.

Her laughter rang in his ear. _"How can I do this, Jar? How can I be talking to you like this! Talking about _me_! About my perfect life outlook! About my _normal_ life! When you'll never have that chance! How can I do that – do _this_! What sort of a person does that make me?"_

Jarod felt his chest ache. "A-"

Alex grabbed the phone and hung up. "IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK?" he shouted loudly, taking Jarod aback.

One moment, he'd been taking to his old friend, then next he was being shouted at by some lunatic, and, he noticed, Sydney was making his way toward them both.

"Back off, Alex!" Sydney warned.

"If that makes you happy, babe," Alex replied sweetly, "sure thing!" He turned and walked away.

"What don't you understand about, _Stay away from Alex_, Jarod?" Sydney scowled.

"He-"

"He cornered you!" Sydney demanded. "Funny, I don't see any _corners_, do you?"

Jarod offered no rebuke, hoping Sydney would calm down.

Sydney stalked away, toward the coffee table in front of the couch, and picked up a book of puzzles, flipping through it quickly.

It was obviously intended for Angelo, who obviously had never written in it once, perhaps he'd never even looked at it. The puzzles were all completed, however, in what Sydney recognised as Alex's extremely presentable, and somewhat beautiful handwriting. At the end of the book he'd written: _If you're trying to fuck his head up, you're going to right way about it. Congrats, fellas! Give yourselves a pat on the back, won't you! The usual scumbag antics, I see. Nothing changes._

He handed the book to Jarod. "If that's not a sign to you, Jarod, I don't know _what_ is!"

He turned on his heel, then, and left.

He would be waiting for him outside, Jarod knew.

When he joined Sydney in the corridor, he didn't say that he agreed with Alex, he didn't say he didn't think the book could help Angelo. He said nothing at all.

And Sydney said nothing to him.

They walked.


End file.
